YOU CAN'T WORK FOR EVERYONE : NOBODY CAN ! | MUBASSIRAH BINT SOLIH

 The world is a beautiful expanse with so many varieties of species and even specs of every species. Nothing from the contents of the world remains same through its existence; there is always a change in weather, colour, heat, living situations, maturity levels, comprehension styles, among others. Yes, every single person has a long list of characteristics that stick to them differently at different points in time: height, weight, skin colour, hair colour and texture, wealth, popularity, social skills, business orientation, talents, etc. 

Now, in the same globe, single persons come together to form groups and establish relationships, based on some similarities they share in particular stratification points. Friendships (and relationships generally) are established by two or more individuals who share complementary differences and similarities, who feel affection towards one another, enjoy one another’s company, and give and receive support to and from one another. Hence, the affirmation of the popular belief that man is a social animal: we all desire acceptance and look to expand our network of acquaintances, for different reasons on different levels.

Levels of emotional independence vary in individuals, and as such, the feelings we get from our lone times (taking into consideration how often and how long) also differ greatly. While some people are categorized as “clingy”, some are categorized as “aloof”, while others could go with the tag “friendly” (being the moderate group). There is hardly an individual who hasn’t experienced one form of heartbreak through the course of his/her existence; we don’t have immunity against loving the wrong people, and yes, we come crashing from different levels too.

It is important that you know yourself before seeking out a companion, well, so that you can at least save yourself from the avoidable heartbreak: a relationship wouldn’t work if the involved parties don’t have aligning views on topics they consider very important to their individual lives. Our value systems are different too, but generally, issues such as religious beliefs, parental roles and involvement, dependency level, flexibility to adopting regulations and principles, prudency with spending, honesty, empathy, confidentiality, among others, are paramount to most people, and so, it is important to watch out for those things when you are on the lookout for a friend (or less/more).

As much as you would like to, the fact is that “you cannot work for everyone”; and the earlier you admit that, the better for you. The easier it is for you to slide over mild rejections from people who either feel they are not good enough for you (or vice-versa). The easier it is for you to look beyond the moment of rejection to figure where you are lacking and how you can cover those lapses. The easier it is for you to analyze things rationally without being overly emotional; to either belie your own faults to heap all blames on the other party, or, to crucify yourself by embracing all the blames to make yourself sink in the pond of self-blame/pity.

No matter how good you are; you cannot be good for everyone.

It works in both ways; there must have times when almost everyone was “going crazy” over how “beautiful” a particular person is in his arts but you were genuinely indifferent about him. Well, because you “felt” there is nothing so spectacular. Another popular scenario is with software applications where you assess the reviews and stars it has gathered to decide whether or not you want to go for it; the same app that would get a 5-star from one person may barely manage to get a 1-star from another person! If you can relate to that, then, that is pretty much like it; we can’t all see things from the same shades, it is just not possible.

When you accept that you really can’t work for everyone, then, you realize the importance of being the best you can be (in giving and taking) to all of those you happen to work beautifully with! You acknowledge the fact that all of those “opportunities” you missed were probably not what would have been best for you. You appreciate the fact that you are living the truth of yourself with all of what comes with it.

It is not a failure that the person you adore so much ended up not being so fascinated about your existence (care less for your feelings); it is just being normal, because, you must have felt that way about someone else too and that doesn’t mean they are bad people, right? There will definitely be a lot more people out there who will very much appreciate your attention and presence if only you are willing to look beyond the moment. Yes, this only proves it true that you cannot work for everyone.

It is not a failure that the friendship you have sacrificed so much of yourself for ended up hitting the rock bottom with you having to part ways with this person; yes, every experience teaches us some lessons. And yes, that you started out okay doesn’t mean you would always be okay. Life happens, changes happen too… if life happens to you and your friend at different rates, or your aligning views about life start to deviate more and more as you advance in time, then, it is only normal that more conflicts arise, maybe until it gets to that point where you no longer feel the need to hold on so tight. Yes, it is not your fault or fall, you just cannot work for everyone.

It is not a failure that someone talks down on your best piece because they feel it doesn’t measure up to their standards; deal with your insecurities first, yeah, that’s pretty much the highest of the steps you would ever need to take in leading a gracious life. Even if every single person on earth praise your work and call you the “best” at what you do, always remember that somebody somewhere is going to think the exact opposite, and maybe wouldn’t even just stop at thinking your work is “whack”. They are entitled to their opinions and judgments too (even with sentiments), and that is just as fine, because, you can’t work for everyone.

It is not a failure that someone throws your beautiful CV in the trash bin despite being obviously the “most qualified” for the job; they have their own lists of principles and see things from their own lenses too, so yeah, you return to understand that you can’t just work for everyone.

And, at the end of this, I will say that: the fact that you can’t work for everyone does not in any way meddle with your level of expertise, depending on how willing and open-minded you are to correction and/or rejections. Never forget that; what someone thinks of you wouldn’t interfere with what you are if you are already aware of what you are with certainty and care less for whatever negativity comes. They might not hate you or anything, so don’t think too hard on unfortunate situations; you just can’t work for everyone.

Be you! Just always be the better version of yourself without allowing anyone’s opinion determine how far or how well you can go; don’t ever feel compelled to change yourself in order to keep anyone when that “change” doesn’t feel right or comfortable for your personal growth and development. No matter what you do, you can never work well for everyone.

Have a nice time shooting your shots and enjoy both the good and bad, and the beautiful and the ugly! Work well for the persons you can work well for and excuse yourself and them for otherwise; you can’t work for everyone.

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